


don't leave me on read, steve

by emyn ab morlan (gwenynnefydd)



Category: Pundit & Broadcast Journalist RPF (US)
Genre: 2020 US Presidential Election, Friendship, Gen, Humor, John King is Team Dad, Sleep Deprivation, Steve Kornacki Never Sleeps, text message fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-07
Updated: 2020-11-07
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:42:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27431443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gwenynnefydd/pseuds/emyn%20ab%20morlan
Summary: Map Daddy and Map Dad WhatsApp each other throughout the US 2020 Election.
Relationships: John King & Steve Kornacki
Comments: 16
Kudos: 29





	don't leave me on read, steve

How come you get a better board than I do? -JK

Your board is pretty cool. -SK

It zooms, and it’s nice to look at. But  
you can draw nice things on yours. -JK

I can only point and circle the states. I tried  
writing on mine and it looked awful. -JK

Do you know how hard it is to write on this  
thing? My handwriting looks like a toddler  
drawing their first numbers. -SK

Well, at least you’re not an actual toddler,  
unlike some people I could mention. -JK

Nice math, by the by. -JK

* * *

Are you seeing Trump’s latest statement? -JK

MSNBC cut away from it after a few  
minutes. Are you still watching? -SK 

Unfortunately, yes. -JK

CNN have decided to run the thing in its entirety. -JK

With a comment from one of us at the end. -JK

Oh dear. How’s it going? -SK

Everything he’s saying is either wrong or untrue. -JK

I like how every other news outlet is openly  
going ‘NO VIEWERS, THERE IS NO EVIDENCE OF  
VOTER FRAUD’ -JK

And we’re sitting here letting Trump tie his own noose. -JK

When will this end. When can I return  
to my board. I’m slowly perishing here. -JK

Thank you for your service. God bless  
our map pundits. -SK

God hasn't blessed us with the  
ability to leave this hellscape yet. -JK

* * *

You didn’t tell me you were married. -JK

I’m married? -SK

According to Twitter, you are. -JK

To who? -SK

Well, everyone’s gone viral for you. But David  
Mack is apparently your husband now. -JK

Well, Twitter has good taste. -SK

At least they didn’t give me Eric Trump -SK

Oh yeah, Eric came out and said he was  
part of the LGBT community, didn’t he? -JK

The gays came together and voted that he   
can’t come to drag night with us. -SK

* * *

Hey, are you seeing the big dump of results from PA? -JK

Oh wait, I just saw you were on a ‘mandatory  
food and rest period’. Never mind. -JK

I was going to nap. -SK

But now guess who’s going  
back to the studio~ -SK

Back to your magic wall? -JK

Yep. -SK

Can PA stop counting votes for a few  
hours so I can sleep? -SK

Funnily enough, there are protestors outside the  
vote counting place requesting that same thing. -JK

Not what I meant. :P -SK

Help me decide what to eat? -SK

I can order you some frosted yumnuts? -JK

Thank you. -SK 

* * *

You know what -SK

I’m going to do it -SK

I’m going to call it live on air -SK

Oh boy. -JK

This will be fun. -JK

Not that I’m recommending it, mind. -JK

Nate Silver’s encouraging me to do it -SK

He retweeted me -SK

Trump doesn’t wait for facts and neither do I. - SK

How much sleep have you had? - JK

That doesn’t matter. I’m going to DO IT -SK

Steve, you remember that Gravity Falls  
episode where Stan lost a bet? -JK

And he had to be filmed doing the  
“Stan is Wrong” song -JK

With jazz kicks that put out his back -JK

This might be you, in a few days. -JK

I would not recommend making the call. -JK

At this point I would do the jazz  
kicks just to see this end. -SK

_Video call started, 10:37 min in length._

* * *

Spending the lull in counts going through  
the archive records. -SK

Political history is always fun. I found the  
board for my first campaign. -JK

Which year is that? - SK

It's 1988. Bush vs Dukakis. -JK

Nice. -SK

I also found the board for the Bush  
vs Al Gore election in 2000. -JK

I remember folk calling way too early and  
having to walk themselves back. -JK

Lucky we’re not making the  
same mistake this year, huh? -JK

Don’t leave me on read, Steve -JK

* * *

Okay, so I’m out of my mandatory food  
and rest period. What did I miss? -SK

Not much. Biden increased his lead in PA.  
Trump’s catching up in AZ. -JK 

Some day, the results will be called,  
and we’ll be out of this limbo. -JK

We should get on one Zoom call and  
present the call. You, me, Bill Hemmer… -SK

If we all met up and presented results  
together, we might break Twitter. -SK

I can imagine bringing that to my boss. -JK

‘Hello sir, these are my map children, this  
one won’t sleep and keeps doodling  
math on the board’. -JK 

Aww - SK

You called us your children. - SK

Don’t talk with paper in your mouth. -JK

* * *

I saw you learnt how to write on your touch screen -SK

I did. -JK

How in all hell did you get your handwriting  
to look so neat on that thing? -SK

Practice, Youtube videos…. -JK

Black magic rituals? :P -SK

Don’t tell my boss. -JK

You still can’t write number 4 nor number 8. I  
think that demon you made a deal with has  
sold you short. -SK

I don’t think deals with demons have refund policies. -JK

* * *

Fallon’s written us into his Thank You Notes section -JK

Well, that’s nice of him. -SK

Wait, I’ve just seen it. McSteamy and  
McDreamy of touch screens? -SK

I wonder which one of us is which? -JK

I’m clearly McSteamy, if only because under  
these studio lights I am dying of heat. -SK

So that’s why you’re in your  
shirtsleeves and not a suit jacket. -JK

Why did you think I wasn’t wearing one? -SK

Thought you were doing it  
for the fans on Twitter. -JK

* * *

Hey, are you at the studio? -SK

On my way home to rest and grab a beer. -JK

Unlike every other map pundit, I seem to be the  
only one with a sleep schedule at the moment. -JK

Pshh. Who needs sleep when you  
have coffee and Monster? -SK

How long has it been since you slept? -JK

A while. -SK

I’ll let you know if we get any official news. -SK

Go to bed, Steve. -JK


End file.
